Inventions

I've not been here for a while, busy with this and that and not much time for writing, so nothing to add to the blog. However, at a meeting of ScribesRus, the writing group I belong to, the talk got round to inventions, and we were all asked to write a piece on what we wished we had invented. I thought of the usual suspects, you know the sort of thing, the wheel, the telephone, the internal cumbustion engine, but the more I thought about it the more I realised that, apart from the wheel, the world would be a better place without most of those things, especially the last one. No, it's the little things that really make life better so here's what I came up with -

OH, I WISH…

Oh I wish I’d invented the match
I’d have surely avoided the catch
Of the sulphurous poisons we saw
By their effect on the match girls’ jaw

Oh, I wish I’d invented the pin
With its safety clasp all moulded in
Which saves loss of blood and some pain
And words which are crass and profane

Oh, I wish I’d invented the Biro
(Old Laszlo was surely a hero)
What a difference would have been made -
When writing we’d now use a ‘Slade’.*

Oh, I wish I’d invented the clip
Which holds documents in a firm grip
And saves them from slipping and sliding
And prevents your nice ‘Jekyll’ from ‘Hyde-ing’

Oh, I wish I’d invented some things
I could bask in the glory it brings,
The kudos, the money, the fame,
And people remembering my name.

*Me

It was ever thus

It's coming round to that time of year again when hearts and flowers are all the rage. Call me an old cynic but......


BORROWED WORDS

“Come, lie with me and be my love”,
That’s what the poet said,
And what a clever line is that
To get me into bed.
But it won’t work you know,
The answer is still “No.”

“How do I love thee?”, yet more lines
That don’t belong to you.
I wish you’d get it in your mind
That other’s words won’t do.
And it won’t work you know,
The answer is still “No.”

“My love is like a red, red rose”
Oh really - get a life,
Those words belong to Robert Burns,
From Galloway, in Fife
And they don’t work you know,
The answer is still “No”.

I really don’t know how it is
That you can be so thick,
But still you’re using other’s words
And they won’t do the trick.
They do not work you know
The answer is still “No”.

Try telling me you think I’m great
And you’ll be mine alone.
To be with me for all our lives
You’ll leave unturned no stone.
And it might work you know,
Till then the answer’s “No.”