Poor kid.

Do you remember how embarrassing you parents could be when you were about 12 or so? If you do, perhaps you can empathise with this poor boy.

Halloween Party

I knew I’d end up here, hiding in the bog and wishing I was an orphan. I’m dreading tomorrow; Wayne and Terry will really be out to get me, even more than usual. It’s my Dad that’s the trouble. Why can’t he be like Mike’s Dad, and work shifts, so he can’t come to PTA things? Or better still like Susan’s. Her Dad’s in the Navy and doesn’t come back for months once he’s gone away.

I sussed there’d be trouble as soon as Mrs Hargreaves announced at assembly that the PTA was going to hold a Halloween party. Mum and Dad both belong even though I asked them not to. Mum said that parents should support the school, and Dad, who always pokes his nose into everything, said he was really looking forward to it and rubbed his hands together the way he does when he gets all excited. He even got himself elected on to the committee and he’s always going on about it at home. He knew I didn’t like it, but at least he could have warned me about the party. But no, he never thinks of me at all, doesn’t worry how his behaviour gets me taken the piss out of.

Well, he’s done it this time. When I saw him, I nearly died. I refused to come, but Mum said I’d got to. I begged her not to make me, but she got cross and dragged me into the car. Dad was full of it, telling me not to be an old spoilsport. “Lighten up, Tony,” he told me, “You’ll enjoy it once we get there.” Well he was wrong there; it’s been horrible, even worse than I thought it would be.

Most of the other parents have dressed up, the Mums as witches mainly, with black clothes and pointy hats, and the Dad’s are either ghosts or Dracula. They all look a bit naff really, but my Dad’s gone over to top, as usual.
He’s dyed... dyed... his hair green for God’s sake. Even Mum told him he was going too far, but he just laughed and said if a job was worth doing blah, blah, blah. Then he put this makeup on and made his eyebrows look bushy. Then he stuck some sort of white plastic thingy on which looks like a great big tooth sticking out of one side of his mouth. He doesn’t look like any sort of monster I’ve ever seen (except like my Dad, and that’s monster enough). Mum said he looked like the village idiot and he said “Exactly.” What that’s got to do with Halloween, who knows? Anyway, that’s what he’s doing now, running around the school hall with a big goofy grin, rushing up to people and prodding and laughing at them. You can see some of them don’t like it. I heard Wayne’s Dad say “Wanker!” as mine rushed away to pester someone else. Mind you, Sarah’s Mum, the one who’s got hardly any clothes on and says she’s come as Catwoman, she seems to like it. Her and my Dad have been flirting with each other. She’s sort of wriggling, and waving her fingers, like claws, at him, and trying to purr. Gross!
That’s when I came in here. I couldn’t stand it anymore, it was dead embarrassing. I’ll cop it from Wayne and Terry tomorrow, I just know I will. My Dad’s such a show up; I wish he’d just grow up.