The Truth? Could be.

I've called this story "The Truth", and who knows, perhaps this is exactly what happened


THE TRUTH
Well, hello. Sso nicce to ssee you. Ssuch pleassure to have a vissitor, not many people bother thesse dayss.
Oh, you’re from The Garden Newss, and want to hear about Them you ssay? Well, I’m jusst the persson, I’ve been wanting to have my ssay for a long time now. Right o, assk away.
My name? Oh, I’ve lotss of namess, not all of them nicce, but in the ‘casst lisst”, sso to ssay, I appear ass ‘The Sserpent,’ but you can call me Nick.
Right, let me sset the record sstraight. Sshe wass ssuch a lovely girl, young and innossent , sshe used to come and ssit… Oh look, thiss iss ridiculouss, would you mind awfully if I dropped the accent? Those sibilants are such hard work and I only do it for effect. Supposed to make me sound sinister or something. Stupid idea!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Eve.
As I say she was very pleasant, always had a friendly word, used to sit with me for hours whenever she wanted to get away from him.
Mmm, him. All that ‘dominion over the creatures that crawl on the earth and inhabit the sky’ stuff went to his head. Strutted around like the lord of all he surveyed, giving his orders, even to her, poor thing. It was “Eve, do this,” “ Eve do that,” “ Eve fetch this,” “Eve carry that,” all day long, She never had a moment’s peace when he was around.
That’s why she spent so much time with me, of course. She used to sit on a branch with me coiled round it - and round her too sometimes - talking about this and that. You know, who was doing what with whom, what the rabbits were getting up to, the meaning of life, that sort of thing. Ooh, and fashion. That’s how she started playing around with leaves and things; putting a flower in her hair, or making a necklace out of leaves and berries. Suited her, I must say, she was a beautiful girl. Mind, it got a bit out of hand when she found the fig leaves. You know what they say, the more you cover up the more alluring you look. Well, that was the start of it really. That and the rabbits. She asked me what it was exactly that they were doing and, of course, I told her. Well I didn’t see any harm in it, after all it was going on all over the place. She didn’t understand at first, and it took me ages to explain. I can see her now, thoughtfully chewing on an apple, and then the penny dropped. She looked at me in horror, her face all red and tears in her eyes.
“Oh, that’s disgusting!” she cried.” I could never do that!”
“Just as well, Ducky” I said. “Hasn’t the Landlord put a clause in the lease, forbidding it? No, Deary, you just forget all about it. Ooh,” I added, trying to change the subject, “Doesn’t that blackberry look nice, just there, in your navel?” But she’d gone all quiet. She left soon after that and I didn’t see her for days, then she suddenly turned up, sobbing her heart out.
“Oh, Beelzebub,” she cried, (her little pet name for me, you know) “Oh, Beelzebub, I’m so miserable. He won’t leave me alone. He’s on at me all the time and I can’t stand it anymore. What am I going to do?”
Well, it turned out, she’d gone and told him about the bloody rabbits, silly cow. I was so cross I could have stamped my feet.
Eh?.. Oh, yes, but you know what I mean. Anyway, don’t interrupt.
Once he got the idea into his head he wouldn’t let it drop. It was pester, pester, pester all day long. ‘Course, in the end she gave in. Apparently he pulled rank on her - you know “I was here first,” “ I’m older than you,” “It’s my garden and you’ll do what I say,” that kind of thing. And he sulked. Need I say more? The first I knew of it was when I next saw him, big cheesy grin, extra bit of swagger in his strut, smug look on his face. Git!
Anyway, he made such a big deal of it, boasting to all and sundry, that the Landlord got to hear of it. Well, was He angry. Down He comes in a thunderbolt, all billowing clouds and sound FX, very Star Wars! Ranting and raving about broken clauses and threatening all sorts of reprisals. She was ever so upset, kept saying she was so ashamed and really sorry, and in the end she ran off - right out of the garden!
As for that Adam, slimy sod, - well he blamed it on her, would you believe.
“Oh, Your High and Mightiness”, he grovelled. “She made me do it, Sir. She was gagging for it, Your Reverence, dressed in all those leaves and flowers, and as for that blackberry… Bit of a slut if you ask me, You’re Eminence.”
Now I’ll say this for Him Upstairs, He doesn’t like crawlers. (Well, look at me,) Anyway, He pointed His Finger and Proclaimed:-
“Shut up! I will hear no more. You’ve sinned and that’s that. You’ve got responsibilities now. What if she becomes a Mother? You will leave the Garden and find her and cherish her. And until you learn to treat her with respect you are banished forever. Now sod off.”
And with that He was gone, in a great big POUF!
Adam just stood there, quivering with fear and whimpering, then he saw me.
“It’s all your fault,” he snivelled.
“Don’t you start on me,” I told him. “I didn’t invent it. No, and neither did you, you nasty little worm, though you seemed to think so, the way you acted once you’d got your own way.” Ooh, I was so cross!
“And as for all that blaming her, that‘s evil, that is,” I said. “I thought I was supposed to be the nasty one round here, but you take the biscuit. Now, trot along, little boy, and do what Daddy told you to,” I sneered, and with that I turned my back on him and left him to it.
Well, that’s about all there is to the story really. He was just like all men, chasing after it as if his life depended on it, then when he gets it, he’s doing the woman a favour. Makes me spit! And he obviously didn’t learn his lesson ‘cos they never came back, and the Garden became a ruin. I was made redundant, and that’s why I’m here, in this ‘Home for the Fallen’.
Sex has got a lot to answer for, if you ask me.